Thursday, March 17, 2011


Just read my sisters blog about her blogging drought and felt a bit pricked. I'm not good at writing like she is, not even close. But she inspired me and maybe there is some mom sitting at home in her bathrobe like me right now needing a bit of inspiration too, so here's the first rain in my own blogging drought.

You know what carves out your soul like nothing else? Waiting. I don't think I am totally out for lunch here when I say that many of our generation had different expectations for what life would be bringing us at this point in our lives. Over the last 3 months I've had a dear friends lose homes, jobs - good secure ones, and perhaps a bit of hope. Over the past year and a half we've been on a pretty intense waiting journey ourselves - first for a new job, our big break, big change. But that wasn't the plan. Expectations changed - hope shattered. Time passed. The kaleidoscope shifted and we were on a whole new waiting journey - waiting and working for a new business to pick up, for a new life in a new place to pick up.

But there are other things we wait for too. Things that I can't share, that I can't fix, that I can't believe are part of my life. And so I wait, hoping against hope that someday these too will make sense.

I used to believe that if I believe, work, pray and hope that miracles will happen significantly close to my personal time frame. Or at least by the time I really needed them. But I've learned that my Savior needs me broken before he can really heal me, before his answers, his help is REAL. He's taken me beyond, so far beyond, what I thought my breaking point was. He's broken me and held me with his hope as I've cried.

So I hold onto hope, hope that somehow, someday all the breaking and waiting and working will reveal a version of myself that the Lord will be proud of, a version that will be ready to meet Him when he comes.


Shelley said...

I needed to read this today. Life sure throws curve balls that we wouldn't have possibly foreseen. What a good reminder that it isn't on our time frame, but Heavenly.Fathers. thank you for.writing that today. Ps, so.sorry for the insane delay on getting it mailed out to you. Things have been crazy.

Bredsguard Fam said...

Beautiful! Thank you!

Sarah D said...

Oh Michelle. That was so wonderfully written. I echo your thoughts. Who knew we would be here? I hope to be as steadfast as you truly seem to be! Thank you for writing this!

Nield Family said...

Whatever you are not like her, you have always had a way with words. . .you know every word to every song! I love you and love to be closer and sharing with you in the waiting. You inspire us all big sis!

emily said...

Michelle, you've always inspired me!! I love reading your posts and I hope the best for you and your little family!

Rachel said...

Amen. Tears in my eyes- inspiration indeed. Everything truly is in the Lord's hands if we let it be. Thanks for sharing and reminding us all of that. Love you big sis, and I'm SO grateful we get to share in the journey of waiting together. To help each other through.

Kyra said...

Thanks for sharing dear friend. Makes me wonder what is going on in your life right now. We need to talk. I miss you. I will call you tomorrow :) xoxo

hoopesfam4 said...

Despite what you may think about your writing ability, your words were exactly what I needed to read. You have always been such an example of strength and perseverence, and I hope you realize how amazing you are...and how grateful I am to have you as a friend.

Thank you for the fresh perspective...and the reminder to never lose hope.

Grapefruit said...

Michelle, you have such a gift for expressing yourself. Beautiful words. And so true. Thank you for this reminder. I needed it today!

I always told Matt, way back in the days of had a gift for writing. You still do! Best writer in the whole Florida Key West mission. :)

Ashlee said...

Hey you! So... when I heard that Sarah commented on your blog I thought I'd check if she had a link from her's to your's and sure enough she did!!! Our blog is private so send me your email address if you want an invite!! :)

Also I have a blog that's not just has the titles of my posts so you can put this blog in your google reader and it will show when a new post is up- then you can link to the actual blog (does that make sense?)

jon crosby said...

Life is never really what we expect huh? Well That is a beautiful way of putting it! Juls is right, you have a way with words and you have EVERY song memorized. Now instead of country music songs, it's princess songs. Ha! Well you are a great example of making lemonade from life's lemons. wow. Now that's profound. I love living by you!!!!!

jon crosby said...

And this is not Jon. It's Lis.

Becky H. said...

I am the winner here, I get to live the closest to you!! Whatever your trials are right now you seem to be handling them in a most amazing way and inspiring others along your path. You have such a beautiful way of expressing yourself, thanks for the uplift and insight and words of inspiring hope and faith. Everything WILL work out. Our love and prayers are with you, always.
Love you.

Olie Olie Olson said...

Oh Michelle How I miss you and your words of wisdom and your personal insight. It ALWAYS is inspiring to me. Friends like that are few and far between. You are a rare and special person. Did I say I missed you... A TON. I pray for you and your family.

Olie Olie Olson said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
hatanipai said...

I stumbled across this today and felt inspired. Here you are, almost a year later, and still waiting, for some of the same things and for some new things too. I am right there with you. Waiting for things that I can't fix, that I can't believe are a part of my life. We just keep waiting, working, searching and praying, clinging to the knowledge that Someone is always there, maybe without Twix bars, but waiting with us through the storm. I am not sure if the rain ever stops, actually. But like you said, experiencing the storm--whether pushing against the wind or hunkered down searching for strength--changes who we are.

Whenever you need a Twix I am here.

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