Little Girls

They have captured our hearts,

Softened our edges,

and

taught us about Heaven

Imagine our joy:

Baby Girl #3

Due May 1, 2010

(pictures by daily grapefruit)

Saying goodbye to the Beach

This is Leah, kissing pieces of the beach

Saying goodbye to our favorite "neighbor"

We moved.

And although we are only

7 mins from the sand,

we are no longer ON the sand.

and we will miss that

What a gift it was while it lasted!

Maleficent

Look what my little girl wanted to be for Halloween...

Maleficent

You know, the Sleeping Beauty witch

She LOVES it!

Yeah, I know, kinda frightening.

All her friends are disney princesses, tinkerbell, ladybugs, or other sweet pink things.

But this is Leah, fiercely independent and ready for our scary big world.

I love it.

Come back!

This week I said good bye to the last of our summer visitors... and I felt my heart actually dive out of me, as if trying to chase them down the street. It was horrible.

4 years ago I sat alone in our newly-wed apartment waiting for the time when I would drive to Salt Lake and pick up my husband from the airport. He was coming back from a job interview in California, a job interview I hoped would not go so well. I even prayed the entire way to the airport that when the plane touched down he would feel that this was home, this was sanctuary, this was the place we were meant to be.

But that was NOT what he felt, at all.

And so I spent the next week in tears, not wanting to know... dreading asking the Lord for an answer about California. I remember one morning on our couch, reading my scriptures, finally feeling brave enough to find out. I remember the feeling, gentle and sure. I remember that day in church and the powerful messages directed to me. and I will never forget the peace of confirmation that came when I let go of my own agenda and wanted what God wanted.

I knew in my heart that the Lord knew best, that He knew me, that leaving my home, family, life, etc., was all part of a plan for my happiness.

But that journey to happiness was often filled with deep trenches of sadness, loneliness, and aching. Trenches that carved out greater space in my heart for happiness.

And it was also filled with lots of visits from family. Because although the Lord led us away to California, He led us to the beach, literally, and that can't help but bring visitors our way. I wouldn't change the piles of dirty towels and sheets, the sand stuck in every cranny of this place all summer. Because it reminds me that family and love reach beyond distance and state lines. Each visit reminds me that what we have is FOREVER, is real.

And although I sat last night dreaming somehow of a way back to Utah, once again, I can't help realize how each relationship with my family is greater, more treasured, than before. I mean, who would have imagined that just watching my brother drive away would bring big tears to my eyes, or make me long to be his neighbor.

Come back everyone, come back until we come home.

Major Moments

2 major moments in Leah's life occurred this week:

1st

Leah went to nursery and stayed in nursery

all by herself

the whole time!

(I made that dress!!)

and 2nd:

She got her first dress-up!

I know Halloween is still much more than a month away, but I couldn't help it!

It was a day like any other day, just cruising an outdoor mall with a friend when we innocently stumbled into a toy store. And just past the cash register

she saw them.

Glittering, sparkling, enchanting her.

Leah gasped (like she has at every store that is sporting their princess halloween loot). Breathless, she ran to them, ran in place and carefully touched them, mouth open in awe. (Sounds dramatic, i know, but it WAS).

I stood back, enjoying once again this display of pure childhood bliss. She was in heaven, debating which one was her favorite.

"Oh this is my fav... no this one.. is .. my... oh! this one!"

I pulled myself from my own bit of heaven of watching this, to see if my friend had noticed.

Not only had she watched it, she was crying.

"That is just so cute!"she confessed, as she turned her head to wipe her tears.

And it is true, anyone who could have seen that moment of pure of childhood goodness, the joy of something so simple, the awe of a little girl transformed in a toy store into a true princess... just might have cried too.

It was one of those moments I will treasure in my mommy heart,

forever.

Mom...why you so happy?

I know, you're all SHOCKED that I am posting again...

There have been some complications okay! But, I have a husband again, which after 3 grueling years feels incredible. This wonderful, blissful, and completely "new" life hasn't left much room for posting.

So without further stalling, here it is, wish me luck...it's been a while

The number one question Leah asks me these days, and there are SO many of them, goes like this, "Mom, why you so happy?" She says it with such concern and interest...never bored of hearing my sometimes very boring answers. But sometimes she catches me in such a happy moment that her little voice, her concerned brow, her sparkling eyes seem to emphasize all that makes me happy in life. Like a reminder of just how happy I SHOULD always be. Because I have her. I have him. I have Jenna. I have it ALL!

So here is why I am so happy these days...

why are you so happy?

Finish Line

I can't really blog about this yet... 

I will just end up sobbing with joy at the computer.  

But I will say,

this was a really good day.

One of the best I have had in 3 years.

He did it!

We made it.

Together.

okay, bawling...

 try to write more later I guess!